Tips To Have The Best Wedding Ceremony!
Oftentimes, officiants are the last people to be called upon or thought about for your wedding day, yet they are the most important in terms of actually making the whole purpose of the big day happen. In other instances, couples have booked or gotten their officiant but have no idea what they want in a ceremony. This causes a lot of unnecessary stress, confusion, and scrambling to get their perfect ceremony just days or even moments before the big day commences! At the end of the day, all wedding vendors want to be on your side and help you make your dream a reality on your wedding day. We want to take away any stress or overwhelming feelings, so here are some tips to help make this happen!
Prepare & Research
Ceremonies can involve a lot of effort in creating the script, getting all legal documents prepared (depending on the county you marry in, it can be a confusing process of many regulations and obstacles), and ensuring that those involved in the ceremony are present and knowledgeable about their roles, etc. Whether you hire an officiant or ask a loved one to officiate your day, it is incredibly important to research and prepare for a few elements of your wedding.
Research:
Local requirements and due dates before, during, and after the ceremony. Many different counties require different applications that can take weeks to get processed and finalized before your wedding, so it is very important to know these requirements and timelines to ensure everything is legal and filed properly in a timely manner.
Ceremony elements that you and your partner want to include within your ceremony. These include but are not limited to: readings, poems, song lyrics, etc. Loved ones that you and your partner want involved can do readings. Unity ceremonies (handfasting, unity shot, unity planting, etc.). Traditional cultural ceremonies (tea ceremonies, jumping the broom, etc.). Fun elements such as having the ceremony written in different tones (there are pirate, elven, RPG ceremonies out there!), having the wedding party hand out fun favors as they walk down the aisle, fun announcements for the processional, etc.
Prepare:
Timewise, allow for 2 months in advance to ensure everything is set for your wedding day (more time needed specifically if a professional officiant is not involved, there are too many horror stories 😬).
Finalize your script at least a week before your wedding so vendors such as the DJ, planner, officiant, etc. can be prepared for the ceremony and know what is needed for the ceremony to flow seamlessly. This is also so you can minimize the stress of the wedding week and not have to worry about the ceremony.
*Pro tip: Have your officiant print backup scripts for all who request it, especially if weather steps in and no one can use their respective technological devices to follow the ceremony.
Clear Expectations
Giving clear boundaries and expectations to your officiant is instrumental in creating the best ceremony. It provides the officiant with not only how you and your partner want to feel on your big day but also what story you both want to tell and what commitments you want to present on your wedding day.
Ask yourselves these questions:
What's your vision for the ceremony? # of guests, ideal length, vows exchanged during or before the ceremony, wedding party involvement, etc. How do you want to feel?
What's the vibe? Intimate and casual? Formal, serious tribute to love? Quirky gathering? Romantic setting? Party vibe?
What rituals/traditions/readings should be incorporated?
Who should be remembered, thanked, mentioned?
Are there sensitive topics to avoid?
Do you want your officiant to write the entire script, or do you want to be heavily involved?
*After researching and seeking what you as the couple want in your ceremony, it is important to set these expectations with your officiant well before the ceremony so your dream wedding can happen, and they can craft the best possible wedding ceremony.
Tell Your Story
This may be the most important tip! Create a ceremony that feels genuine, personal, and uniquely yours. I have attended so many weddings as a guest where the couple ends up doing what their parents or other loved ones around them prefer them to do when it didn’t celebrate what the couple actually preferred to do. Now I realize that in situations this can be difficult to do; however, honoring what you and your partner want out of your wedding is the ultimate win because at the end of it all, how you felt, what you committed to each other, and what you dreamed of will be what you remember. I find that when I get to know the couple and am able to present their authentic story, those become the best ceremonies. I personally do a questionnaire with my clients to really get to know them and what they want out of their wedding, but any way you achieve this will make for a great wedding ceremony.
In addition to the wedding elements that you research in the last tip, here is a Google link that provides some questions that help tell your personal & authentic story: Couple Questionaire for Ceremony
Focus on Having The Best Day!
Just kidding, this is actually the most important tip! 😃 It is scarily easy to forget why you are wanting to marry your partner and the joy that brings in the midst of the overwhelming feelings that can occur leading up to your wedding. Allow your priorities and purpose in getting married to your partner guide your desires and preferences in how you both want the day to go. As you get closer to the big day, let go of expectations as best you can so you can enjoy whatever happens and be delighted in the fact that you get to marry your best friend! Allow the people helping with your wedding (especially leaning on your vendors) to make your dream a reality.
